The Inherent Sexuality Of Auto Accidents

By MichiganGhoul, the Minister of Necrophilia

The adrenaline rush kicks in full force as the car accelerates.... from 60, 70, 80 m.p.h., the speedometer needle jerks its way ever further to the right. The 'white line effect' hypnotizes you, and before you realize what has happened, the lines have moved from the left side of your visual range to the center. Out of the inky blackness ahead, a pair of lights come into view. Their scope grows in size until the light is all you can see. Then comes the impact with its accompanying side effects, all of which take place in milliseconds: The front ends of both vehicles fold forward into shapeless masses as though made of tinfoil. A sound best described as gut wrenching is heard, only to echo and fade. Blood sprays against the breaking windshield as your form exits through the gaping hole in it. You perform an involuntary mid air flip after your head strikes the roof of the opposing automobile, killing you instantly. Flying through space for another twenty feet or so, your mangled and bloody form lands face first on the highway pavement, bounces crazily, only to end up looking like a scarlet drenched rag doll discarded by a bored child. The coroner's report will list you as being found exactly 32' 4" from the crash site, when skidding distance (yours, not the car's) is taken into consideration. Just out of curiousity, I'll bet you never imagined that the back of your head could touch your chest, did you ? Or that your right leg would ever fit so snuggly over your left shoulder. Someone will no doubt show up to haul away the wrecks as well as your own broken carcass before your body temperature even begins to cool. For the moment, however, the blaring horn from the other car (courtesy of the driver's head being wedged into the steering column) plays a single note funeral dirge in your memory. What a way to go, baby!!

Who besides a necrophobic puritan can deny the implicit sexuality of a fatal car wreck?

The sight of a squashed and mangled corpse centered among a collage of twisted metal, glass fragments and bits of broken plastic would give anyone with a healthy sex drive (as opposed to a sterile, so called 'normal' sexual disposition) a raging hard on or a wet hole.

Your humble editor speaks with some experience in this regard: I have personally been involved in several traffic altercations, two of which could have easily been fatal if circumstances were slightly different. I've also witnessed no fewer than seven accidents on the scene as they happened, viewed numerous crash sites both in person and in photographs, plus gone to several wakes where the 'guest of honor' became such as the result of a traffic fatality. In addition, Stephanie, my long distance friend and the girl I had one day hoped to marry, was herself killed when the vehicle she was riding in veered off the road and struck a telephone pole. (Bitter irony in action; Steph was one of this publication's very first supporters...)

Persons who doubt the raw eroticism of automobile accidents (especially those involving a fatality) have some obvious evidence to explain away. The general public has a long memory for celebrities who die in auto accidents. Persons not yet born when James Dean got snuffed on the highway collect his film memorabilia and even attempt to emulate his demeanor. The car that busty film beauty Jayne Mansfield was nearly decapitated in is on exhibit to this day in an independently owned California museum. Most recently, recall the enormous hype that surrounded last year's death of Princess Diana of Wales via a high speed auto wreck. (As a side note, can you imagine having been an attending mortician, funeral home employee or hospital orderly with private, unofficial access to the corpses of Diana or Jayne ?? Speaking for my own perverse self, I would have joyously and vigorously fucked not just their three 'standard' orifices, but all wounds that resulted from their accidents as well!)

The hypnotic attraction to auto wreck fatalities goes beyond these few examples, of course (there are also cases like Princess Grace and Sam Kinneson to consider), and one could conceivably argue that their lasting, 'immortal' fame is a result of their work while alive, not their style of death. Still, this would not explain the overt romanticism of auto crashes in songs from the 1950's and 1960's like 'Last Kiss' and 'Leader Of The Pack', as well as the accompanying 'hellcat', 'leatherboy' and 'dead mans curve' movies of that era, a time that is still looked on nostalgically by many persons young and old alike.

Those interested in a film depicting a fictional, loosely knit cult of men and women who wreck cars for thrills (including James Dean and Jayne Mansfield wreck recreations) should check out the 1996 film "Crash." Besides the erotic suspense aspect, the actors and actresses play their parts as professionally (if not more so) than any 'big name' Hollywood names. Also, for black and white as well as color footage of actual car wrecks with real corpses, rent or purchase copies of 'Death Scenes', 'Death Scenes 2', or 'The Best Of Death Files' (Japanese film) whenever and wherever you can locate them. Foxx Entertainment Enterprises, 327 W. Laguna ,Tempe, AZ 85282, U.S.A. sells all of them at the time of this writing, plus other fine mondo, horror and music based videos and mementos. In the list of alt.sex newsgroups on the Internet, there is a group called alt.sex.car-crash , but I've yet to see anything posted on it that relates to the title. Nonetheless, its worth monitoring.

Viva Car Crash Eroticism!! Viva Necrophilia!!